Resurgence

A year has passed since I posted anything on this blog.

Got myself a new one at http://sidharthraves.tumblr.com

I write some poetry with give or take some consistency this last one year.

I've not done much in terms of playing guitar. In fact, none at all. Its all taken a backseat to other shit life brings. Gaia's Throne wrote and released Eternalis sometime in August '13, played a couple of gigs in December and has been in hibernation ever since. Aashish and Gochi have left the band to be replaced by Sagar and Teema. What we do from here henceforth is debatable.

On a personal front, I've gained a lot in terms of social experiences. The DIY gig dream came true, and super proud I was part of doing it the first time, doing it right to the best of my ability and being the first gig in Pune bands got paid to play.

I abandoned the plan to take a year off and prove myself, for good and for worse. Have barely read up on anything in the past year, perhaps wiser in the art of filmmaking at best. So much that needs to be done.

What do I need in my life right now? Clarity. Personal output.

As much as I would have cribbed and spent time like a zombie and stuff but I was fucking happy. Simple living, happy living. I've done things to make my own life better but I've also done stupid things and left myself in a mess. Plus I was more at myself a year ago than I have ever been in the last 8 months. Fuck this shit.

Books. Writing. Travel. Music. All I'm going to do this summer. Fuck working for half credits I've got all of my life to work for a living. Now is the time for me.

Time to basically bring it on.

Signs

I've been playing around with ideas lately. I've been hearing a lot of so-bad-its-good 80s synthpop recently and came up with the really bad idea of doing a sludge tribute to A-Ha.

If I could pull it off it wouldn't be such a half bad idea though. I'm seeing a really slowed down version of Minor Earth Major Sky in the works though. Programming drums sucks.

Worse than programming drums is programming itself. Studying for that one last practical. Then I shall strive for a break from 15 years of just studying and giving exams. Time to man up and take life into your own hands.

Gaia's Throne has its comeback gig on the 18th of May after 2 months of lying idly post-releasing Contact. Lots of stuff to try out and experiment this summer.

Been thinking if I should get back to writing something soon. Like before, you know, when I was writing about Matt Cronus and T.I.T.A.N. and whatnot. I reek of amateurism and that has probably been the reason why there was this sudden disconnect.

Must read more. Must write more. Must compose more. Must jot down all of these to-dos more.

Ten months is all I'm getting to prove myself this one last time.

Lawds Lagre!

SUBMISSIONS! PROJECT! COMPETITIONS! EXAMINATIONS!

Urrrrrrrrgh!

I am really good at being cranky.

Band has won 15k. Yay. I feel like a gangster with a nice roll of green bills in my desk.

Proper photos have to be done. Posters may be done. Tshirts may be done. Comic book may be done. DIY gig may be done too!

Lots of planning is required. Lots of writing work remains. Lots of exams to pass lie between all of this.

May God be on my side. Its gonna be close to one year when I got all fired up saying "BHENCHOD! Mai Quantumplation karke hi rahoonga!"

Life fursat nahi deti hai dowsth. But anniversary special kuch karna hi padega - May will be the month actual seeds are laid for Quantumplation to grow from. I hope the plans stays that way.

May the Manforce be with us virgins.

Fvckall Moodnuss

Total. Bheja. Fry.

Lately I've been more lost than usual - I cant read, I cant listen to music, I cant watch a tv show, I cant fucking do anything for long peacefully because I AM FUCKING TIRED OF EVERYTHING!

No clue what the fuck is bothering me at the same time really. Its like I have sand in my metaphorical vagina.

Things have actually gone down after the great morale boost we got post single release, with the whole Goa trip affecting my own personal finances for the band. The two-single rule is fucking us over left right center, and we feel a bit stupid to make a journey for a festival that didn't offer reimbursement.

I have also stooped low enough to abandon my disdain for trendy phones and buy myself a new Sony Xperia (the first phone ever bought, since I've survived on handdowns and borrowed free devices for so long). The 1100 equivalent of a Blackberry kind of died cause its not accepting a SIM card anymore LOL. Okay maybe I shouldn't complain about a new phone really, but what the hell I hate myself a little for it hahahahaha!

Pretty pissed I missed out on a LOT of things, the Pune NH7 particularly. I am probably gonna miss Guns N Roses AND Slash (FUUUUUUUCK!) and Bangalore NH7 too, which saddens my heart to no end :( sometimes I feel I was better off as a scene kid who just attended gigs. Or rather, I wish I could sustain my activities with some form of personal income.

Kaafi fuck ho raha hai. My semester is drawing to an end and I really really need to pass through this without any blemishes and the whole baggage that fucking backlogs bring. My relationship with Dad doesn't need any more tension, with him being pretty uneasy with how intense my other life has become in the year he wanted me to quit all the 'distractions'.

Maakichut let me not get even started with the frustration trying to bond with a female can be. I mean, WHY?!? Why do they have to be so difficult to read, so ambiguous? I'm still not sure what time is right to talk about this because I am clueless.

I kind of have shifted from a feeling of contentedness and general progression into some kind of void full of despair, frustration, totally uninspired and unproductive.

I want to blast some Strapping Young Lad and calm myself with the aggression...but I can't pay any attention  to the music either. FML.

The Comeback!

Okay the band has had a few booboos. Real shitty time at Searock, missed DLC live. So was in FML mode for quite a while.
Today marks the day I had a successful zombie mode on, with lots of pondering over what is to happen, being insecure and shifting weight off my butt to my back to my neck.
It usually takes an examination to push me off into such territory, but what the hell. Good to revisit that shitty feeling (for no apparent reason today)
I guess shitty sleep schedules call for shitty dazed days. No more -OH compound preparations for mua. Need ze break from chemical stimulation.
I think I'm addicted to breaking myself down like this every once in a while to feel all super interested and excited the rest of the time. As it is my swinging interests always drag me to these extremes.
Ate whole green chillies! WTF! They taste gooood with potatoes. Mmmm. And I had pickled mussels to go with that. Kuch bhi na? Bloody Mallus will create pickle out of anything fuggerz. Acidity is going to make me barf tomorrow.
So I'm all set for self destruction tonight. Tomorrow I shall arise anew. Or so I hope. The Phoenix always makes a comeback no?

I don't even know what week this is :-s

Okay.
Lots of shit has gone down in these several weeks that I have neglected the progress reports.
Gaia's Throne now has a single, a qualification for SeaRock 2012
AND I AM WATCHING DEAD LETTER CIRCUS LIVE :D nothing fucking beats that for me :)
http://soundcloud.com/gaiasthrone/gaias-throne
^here is the single. The voice by yours truly.

Kaafi mindfuck hua hai - in both good and bad ways.
Gojira - Periphery arriving soon in December too...I NEED MONEYZ :O

Quantumplation - I haven't forgotten you my dear child. You shall be back...soon. You've grown quite a lot in these past few months, and its beginning to show. You shall be ready when I am.

Until then, keep inspiring my fatigued mind heheheh.

Sayonara.

Inking Out The Mind : Inspiration and a few other things.

When I look at a band like Scribe, I can only think of how can a band made out of 5 middle class musicians can cut such incredible music. Its not just the catchiness of it - they've got original flavour, masterful songwriting and that crazy onstage vibe while being tightly knit. It just seems inhumanly possible that they do all that with day jobs and social lives.

Its very easy to feel you're not good enough to cut it. I end up asking myself often if I should have trained myself earlier, what could have I done to be better as a musician now. I wonder what kind of musician am I at times, why do I feel stuck with the same thoughts in my head I had two years ago. Turns out these kind of things never go away. Insecurity is not uncommon even with people who've had extensive experience in playing/composing.

Keeping a good rep and making contacts in the circuit is important, but sometimes we tend to forget that when it comes to writing music the thing that matters most is quality. Something that is severely lacking in most bands, and they tend to get disheartened and lose faith along the way. Its painful to paint yourself a pretty picture of being a musician and then cold-slapping them to realize they're worth jack shit.

Seven lines is all Isis take to convey emotion in a song that spans seven minutes.

Struggle births every necessity, which in turn pushes us to discovering paths and ways we never noticed before. I think a bit of creative block is good. It will help me keep in line and know my limits.

People quit out of slow growth. They never notice that there is a word 'growth' following slow. Something is better than nothing.

Hitting all the nails is tough - practice, inspiration, pushing limits, hardwork, disciplined focus, fulfilling responsibilities. Every day is a new challenge. We overcome, and grow stronger.